Today is the 3-year anniversary of our last goodbye. I still miss you so, so much. Not to say that my life is sad or empty. It’s quite rich and joyful. (Well, most of the time.) In the past few days I’ve seen more butterflies—and more different kinds of butterflies—around New York City than I can remember ever seeing before. Each one reminds me of you, and so brings a big smile.
It is a particularly gorgeous day in NYC—sunny and clear, with a slight breeze. I woke up early and took a long walk around South Street Seaport, as we did together many times. I sat on a bench and gazed up at the Brooklyn Bridge for awhile. I watched elder Chinese folks around me doing their Tai Chi routines, or casting fishing lines. (One guy caught a really big one!) I took some photos with my iPhone. I listed to the water gently lapping up against the little bit of shoreline there. I had a nice talk with Nina and another with Joe. (Tabi is already 4—can you believe it?). John and I played phone-tag. I hope he and I will speak later today. Robin is there in Marbella, visiting him. I’m very happy they’re spending time together and I’m sure you’d be too.
After my visit to the Seaport, I ran up to Abraço for a slice of frittata and two absolutely fuck-off coffees. They really know how to do it there. In our search for the great New York cup of coffee, I think Abraço remains the ultimate. They don’t do house-made almond milk anymore, so no almond-milk cappuccino for you—but you could indulge in a regular-milk cordtado if you were here. Fuck. I really wish you were here.
In some ways, you are still here. You make me smile nearly ever day with a sweet memory. I still live in the sunny Lower East Side apartment that you found for us back in ’07. I still cook soup in our red Le Creuset pot and still wear the cozy Fat Face sweater you bought me. I still have a belly. (Remember when you made me promise not to exercise so much that I’d lose my belly? Promise kept!) I do my best to live in the here and now but—I’m not gonna lie—it would be so much more fun if you were really and truly here.
Sending all the love I have to you, wherever you are in this universe or some other. I hope you’re laughing your ass off, eating just a little too much, and feeling the sunshine on your gorgeous face.
Yours always,
~Adam
I've been thinking about your dear Mia so much lately. On my recent visit to New York, it seemed that her memories were in so many places. My first breakfast had to be at Brown, and I savored my baked eggs just as I did when the three of us went there. Then I walked to South Street Seaport, a place that I know the two of you always enjoyed. When I bought my new Crocs, I thought of the night that my feet hurt so badly from walking and Mia suggested that I wear your Crocs that night to go out! Our final meal of the week-end was a pizza at Lombardi's, also bringing back the memory of a wonderful meal shared with the two of you. Mia's drawings and photos in your apartment added to the sunny atmosphere of your newly painted abode. I loved how we talked about Mia after visiting the High Line. You knew that she would have loved it and I think you were right. Your life does seem full and joyful and you continue to create such wonderful music. I love that bits of Mia appear in many of your songs. I know that memories of your loving wife will always be in your heart. I also carry some beautiful memories as well and each trip to New York brings them right up to the surface.
ReplyDeleteMuch love,
Mom