lucky day

Even though the world is not quite so splendid without you in it, tomorrow will be a happy lucky happy day. Love you chica mia and missing you. Our day will be full of fun, some Mia day dreaming and a beer or few. Relishing the thought already. And the perfect occasion to dig out the Tijuana no 8 bus pic. Happy Birthday dear friend XXX

Birthday.

Dear Mia,

I could type "Wish you were here" over and over until my fingers were numb. It's a beautiful day in New York City—blues skies, with enough chill in the air to warrant the coziest of clothing (and lots of cuddling). Tomorrow is 4 February. Your birthday. I wish you were here so I could cook you an epic breakfast, then take you for a walk around the city—with lots of stops for coffees along the way—and then to see the new exhibit at ICP. And then. And then. Wish you were here.

Celebrating your life and your spirit, always,

~Adam

Anniversary.

Dearest Mia,

Yesterday would have been our 3rd anniversary. I'm not sure whether the 3rd is officially the cheeseburger anniversary but that's how Katja and I celebrated—with cool pints and juicy burgers. And fries, yes.

It's not always easy without you here. You were able to see past the clouds that sometimes come. You could make me laugh at the clouds with just a word or two, or make me laugh at myself for worrying about stupid clouds at all. I remember once—in Sun Valley, Idaho—when you rode a ski lift all the way up beyond the clouds. In the pic you sent me from up there, you looked so blissed out. When my days feel a little dark, I think of that image of you with the sun on your face, absolutely radiant.

I'm reading Patti Smith's Just Kids now—a gift from Katja and Minna. It feels like an epic poem in prose form. It's about love and art, about believing in oneself, about New York City, and about telling our own stories. I can imagine reading it to you in one single pass, curled up on the sofa, only taking a few short breaks to make more tea or to cuddle closer.

Happy Anniversary, my love.

~Adam

so this is christmas

Loca - today we meet Tiff and her little boy Finn! Can you believe it? All the years you've known us and today is the first time we meet one another! We will celebrate our mutual amiga who has brought us together. We wish that you were here in body with us but we know that you are most definitely here in spirit. Its also nearly Christmas so extra celebrations and also extra big love going to your family and Adam who are sure to feel your absence this time of year. We miss you and we love you guapa....... Oh and Sonny says MERRY CHRISTMAAAAASSSS!!!! xxxx

Dear friend,

I am going to adopt Kir's new 'laugh-cry' verb. Its inspired and exactly how thinking of you works. Often I am gazing, staring in to space when I should be doing my studies, thinking about what you would make of something or rather. I continue to seek your thoughts, they make me smile. Its a happiness but a sad-happiness too, longing that you were still here, just a Skype away

Anyway chica mia, I heard about this guy the other day on the radio and wanted to mail you immediately ... you would have loved it!

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-14931681

that dumb movie

I was watching an episode of mad men and out of nowhere I thought of you and began to weep and weep and weep. In that moment I realized I miss you so so much and I just couldn't stop crying and then I was remembering that stupid movie I made us goto in September in New York and you said "someone better not die of cancer in this film" and I said "of course not!" and then someone bloody well did!!! And we both left the cinema before the end of the movie and had a good cry on the steps while waiting for Vanessa to finish watching it. Remembering that made me laugh and cry so now I'm laugh crying and missing you but at the same time remembering you so clearly its like you're here for this moment, I can see your expression and you're laugh crying too. Laugh crying is funny. You were always pretty funny. I love you and I miss you. :-( :-)

Visiting Friends

Guapa,
Tiff is coming to Sydney at Christmas time! Exciting!
I get to meet this friend of yours that meant so much to you, the two of you were so close and you spoke about her so well and so often.
It will be so nice to be able to sit and chat about our Mia memories, to bring you back into the room and laugh at all your personality nuances. You'll be there laughing with us I'm sure.
Can't wait to meet you Tiff. Mia always had such good taste, I'm pretty sure you are no exception!

Sweet and tasty

Chica, just had such a great trip home. There was a wedding that you should have been at. I missed you badly that night. How can I fend for myself with that lot without you there? ... and when I landed in Malaga ... why weren't you there to pick me up? Joe and I saw you though and I feel such wonderful peace those moments when I feel you close. We did some hanging out in the woods with your trees. Chatting and chilling fireside. They are of course bearing fruit. I am sure that it is unusual for trees so young to bear fruit but then how could I expect anything less with your ashes fueling their roots. The fruit was sweet and tasty. We ate all that was there and Finn wanted more. Can we have more next time please?
Amor y amor y amor xxx