Than Almitra spoke, saying, "We would ask now of Death."

You would know the secret of death.

But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life?

The owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery of light.

If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life.

For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.

In the depth of your hopes and desires lies your silent knowledge of the beyond;

And like seeds dreaming beneath the snow your heart dreams of spring.

Trust the dreams, for in them is hidden the gate to eternity.

Your fear of death is but the trembling of the shepherd when he stands before the king whose hand is to be laid upon him in honour.

Is the sheered not joyful beneath his trembling, that he shall wear the mark of the king?

Yet is he not more mindful of his trembling?

For what is it to die but to stand naked in the wind and to melt into the sun?

And what is to cease breathing, but to free the breath from its restless tides, that it may rise and expand and seek God unencumbered?

Only when you drink from the river of silence shall you indeed sing.

And when you have reached the mountain top, then you shall begin to climb.

And when the earth shall claim your limbs, then shall you truly dance.

The Prophet by Kahil Gibran

Tagging.

In San Francisco last night, on my way to see friends play a show at Cafe Du Nord, I happened to notice this streetcar stop. Some troublemaker had written MIA in very large letters with strips of tape. It had me smiling all night. Thank you, troublemaker.

Marvelous Mia

Always loved and never forgotten guapa!

xxxxxxx

"All Is Well

Death is nothing at all,

I have only slipped into the next room

I am I and you are you

Whatever we were to each other, that we are still.

Call me by my old familiar name,

Speak to me in the easy way which you always used

Put no difference in your tone,

Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow

Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together.

Play, smile, think of me, pray for me.

Let my name be ever the household word that it always was,

Let it be spoken without effect, without the trace of shadow on it.

Life means all that it ever meant.

It it the same as it ever was, there is unbroken continuity.

Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?

I am waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near,

Just around the corner.

All is well."

Henry Scott Holland 1847-1918 Canon of St Paul ’s Cathedral

Butterfly visit.

Out for a run in NYC Thursday morning, I passed a tarp hung around a site where a park is being developed. I didn't have my glasses on, so when I saw this funny man with a pink scarf and a fencing sabre, I thought the butterfly was part of the illustration. When I got closer, I could see that the butterfly was very much alive. I stopped running and hung out with the butterfly awhile. Then she fluttered away, riding the breeze, and I did too.

Realiza tu sueño.

Thinking about you nonstop. Thinking about you, and feeling your smile and your embrace everywhere I go. Crying for losing you, and in the same breath laughing at all the things we would laugh about together. Sending you all the love I have.

a serious looking Finn, born April13th 2010

one of Mia's trees, April 11th 2010



He’s here Mi! I did it – I gave birth and in Spanglish, you would have been so proud of me but you were of course watching. Your picture stayed close by and fed me strength. At one point I remembered you grinning away at me through the discomfort of another hot box treatment at the clinic, “It’s doing good things, Tiff”, you’d say – red face covered in a huge smile as I mopped your brow, wishing I could do more. And look at the good thing we have now, Mi. The most wonderful, precious little boy. He makes us supremely happy and just as a world without you isn’t right I now can’t imagine a life without him in it. We feel so lucky chica and I can’t wait till he is old enough so I can tell him all about his angel godmother.

The week he was born one of your trees was in full blossom. We have all been marvelling at how such a small tree could have quite so many flowers but should we really expect any less with your ashes feeding its roots?

Thank you mi amor, for being… well, so damn cool. Keep watching and keeping us safe. We are about to head off on our first road trip with the boy. We are starting him on adventures early. I think you would approve. Stay close by. Te quiero xxxx

Heck of a trick you played this morning, Love! I rolled out of bed and decided to brush my teeth first thing—before drinking morning coffee or anything else. I squeezed a bead of toothpaste onto my toothbrush, ran some water over it, then put it in my mouth to start brushing. Zap! There it was, clear as anything I've ever tasted—the fresh anise flavor of the Homeodent paste you always used. How?! This is a relatively new toothbrush and has only ever had the same minty paste I use. It was unmistakeable, though—the taste of your toothpaste, the taste of your freshly-brushed mouth, the taste of your fresh kiss. Then I blinked, it was gone, and I could only taste my usual mint. It was a very quick trick, but it was beautiful. Thank you! You had me smiling all day.

I found this picture from October 2008, when my mom came to visit us in New York. You're crystal clear and I'm all fuzzy. Just like in real life!

All my love,
~Adam

Guapa

Been thinking about you lots and was looking through our emails from this time last year - needless to say, though you are still positive, the subject matter is not so great - you were so so brave to write to us about it all and be so present and clear - I'm so glad you did so we could be connected to your reality. After feeling all melancholy about missing you I decided to look back and see where we were all at the year before, April 2008's emails revealed that Eva had just left you in New York where you had both had a ball together, this is where that great Mia quote "We walk arm in arm and of course are a sight for sore eyes .. In the LES they say "mmm charlie's angels" but then in midtown, a bit disturbingly they called us "..lesbian bitches" .... !!!!" came from.

Eva was soon heading over here to Oz for her big move, Davida had just chased a junkie thief down the road and got her stolen bag back like some empowered superhero, Ele was nose deep in her studies and you were galavanting around Brussels and Paris watching Adam's shows with Amber where you bumped into Al and Saskia.

Me, I'd just got some bad results from the doctor which leads us in a big circle all the way to today where I'm sat with my huge belly bulging in front of me - only 2 more months to go till I meet this little kicker. I so so so so wish you were here to share it loca - I think I may even have convinced you to visit Sydney for this. I know you'll be looking down, laughing at me, not with me - at me! But in a nice way ;-) We'll have to get Davida on the video duties, she's pretty good but you'll always be the best director, editor and documentary maker.

Bueno - been good reminiscing with you xxxxx :-)

Love you Loca

Kir