Guapa

Been thinking about you lots and was looking through our emails from this time last year - needless to say, though you are still positive, the subject matter is not so great - you were so so brave to write to us about it all and be so present and clear - I'm so glad you did so we could be connected to your reality. After feeling all melancholy about missing you I decided to look back and see where we were all at the year before, April 2008's emails revealed that Eva had just left you in New York where you had both had a ball together, this is where that great Mia quote "We walk arm in arm and of course are a sight for sore eyes .. In the LES they say "mmm charlie's angels" but then in midtown, a bit disturbingly they called us "..lesbian bitches" .... !!!!" came from.

Eva was soon heading over here to Oz for her big move, Davida had just chased a junkie thief down the road and got her stolen bag back like some empowered superhero, Ele was nose deep in her studies and you were galavanting around Brussels and Paris watching Adam's shows with Amber where you bumped into Al and Saskia.

Me, I'd just got some bad results from the doctor which leads us in a big circle all the way to today where I'm sat with my huge belly bulging in front of me - only 2 more months to go till I meet this little kicker. I so so so so wish you were here to share it loca - I think I may even have convinced you to visit Sydney for this. I know you'll be looking down, laughing at me, not with me - at me! But in a nice way ;-) We'll have to get Davida on the video duties, she's pretty good but you'll always be the best director, editor and documentary maker.

Bueno - been good reminiscing with you xxxxx :-)

Love you Loca

Kir

Circles ...

San Diego, March 2009

This week a year ago we sat in San Diego with your feet up piled on cushions trying to get rid of that horrible swelling. A year later I sit in Caracas my feet up trying to get the blood circulating. It’s funny how things go round, eh chica?!

You were sick but there was still so much fun and peace. Days of border crossings, quorn, Gavin and Stacey, hanging at the IV hotel, our daily Venezuelan choccie treat, playing the game that it was totally normal to puke beetroot juice all over Wholefoods car park… hurray for Jayne’s burger!! And hurray to our final adventure … in this world at least. Do you remember counting all the countries you had been to - was it 34 in total? More places than years on the planet. You really are pretty damn cool! This week I eat our beetroot salad creation and baked beans on toast with abandon in your honor. I hope you don’t mind but I am leaving out the quorn.. !

I will always be in awe of you Mi but at that time even more so. You looked beautiful and there were still so many smiles. You promised me so many good things would be coming. You said with a big grin you would take care of it all. And here I am a year later full to the brim with a baby boy who is just about ready to come out and give the world a go himself… I knew you were good Mi but that good!! He is due to join us next weekend almost a year to the day that we hugged goodbyes in San Diego train station. I like the timing. A full circle of hellos and goodbyes… such sadness and such happiness, all going round and round.

So here is to my next adventure mi amor. I wish more than ever you could be here for more. I still can’t bear to think of the world without you in it so I don’t and I see you everywhere. Thank you for bringing such beauty into my life, stay close and keep spreading the joy for us all. Te quiero. XXXXXXXXX

Thinkin' in the Rain.

I'm missing you a whole lot on this rainy, stay-indoors-in-our-pajamas sort of day. The skyline is a foggy blur. I can't even make out whether Lady Empire has lit up for the night yet or not. Harrumph. I wish you were here. We could lie in bed, look out the window, and take our best guesses at what colors she'd be when the fog lifted and we could see her—and at which obscure holiday the colors where honoring. "Aha—it's International Corporate Philanthropy Day!"

The week started off sunny, as if spring were here already. On days like those, you and I would be up and out of 7A early in the morning, walking to Gimme! Coffee on Mott Street for a fuck-off cappuccino. Or two. Or three. On the way there, you'd take pictures—our shadows on the sidewalk, dimensions exaggerated in the early-morning sunlight. You'd also shoot abandoned bicycles, or maybe some window reflecting our faces with the city traffic passing behind us. We'd see interesting-looking shops we'd never noticed before, and talk about how we'd have to remember to go back and explore them when they were open.

But, like I said, today has not been one of those days. It was raining when I woke up, and it's raining still in the early evening. I mostly did stay indoors, in my pajamas. I watched a movie—Examined Life. It looks at philosophy from the points of view of eight modern-day thinkers, including Peter Singer, Avital Ronell, and Cornel West. This would have been an interesting movie to watch together, nestled on the sofa, with a chicken roasting in the oven. My favorite thinker of the bunch is West—because he relates philosophy to blues and jazz music, and because he talks about "the raw, funky, stanky stuff off life." Who would you have found the most thought-provoking, or entertaining?

Love, love, love,
~Adam

Hey You,

Its coming up to that time of year last year when everything took a turn for the worse..... it was a scary and horrible time for you and Adam and your family. I remember with sadness those few calls we had that were so so so sad. But in between it all you still managed to text and email with snippets of positivity and sometimes with outright trippy nonsense - ah morphine eh!

I'm thinking of you all the time and can't believe how quickly 2009 became 2010 and the world is not nearly as interesting, funny, stimulating or sunny in 2010 cause you aren't in it. But you are of it...... and you always reminded us of that, you so embraced life and loved it that I am inspired by your example forever guapa.

I thought I'd post the picture you sent us all from your skiing holiday in Idaho that so made us laugh..... love you guapa, in the words of Buzz Lightyear "to infinity and beyond!" xxxKir

Dreaming.

A friend recently shared this quote from Jacques Brel, the Belgian songwriter. I don't know if Mia knew this quote, but it's so very very her. (Coincidentally, Mia and I had not just one but *two* holidays together in Brussels.) "Le seul fait de rêver est déjà très important. Je vous souhaite des rêves à n'en plus finir et l'envie furieuse d'en réaliser quelques uns. Je vous souhaite d'aimer ce qu'il faut aimer et d'oublier ce qu'il faut oublier. Je vous souhaite des silences. Je vous souhaite des chants d'oiseaux au réveil et des rires d'enfants. Je vous souhaite de résister à l'enlisement, à l'indifférence, aux vertus négatives de notre époque. Je vous souhaite surtout d'être vous."

Here is a literal translation, from Google. Would anyone care to offer a more nuanced interpretation? "The mere dream is already very important. I wish you dreams that will not quit and the furious desire to make a few. I wish you to love what is love and forget what to forget. I wish you silences. I wish you the songs of birds wake up and the laughter of children. I hope you resist the stalemate, the indifference, the negative virtues of our time. I especially want to be you."

This photo is one Mia shot in December 2006, from Pier 17 in NYC. The terrace there—offering a stunning view of the Brooklyn Bridge—was one of her secret hideaways in the city. She particularly loved being there at sunup and sunset.

Birthday gift.

Nina has donated $10,000 to Rotary International in Mia’s name, in honor of her birthday. What a beautiful gift. Thank you, Nina.

The Queen of Cool

I was busy struggling to meet a deadline (remember them?!) in my office this afternoon, and then paused for a moment when the thought hit me that it's your birthday.

As Tiff said in an earlier post, it often seems that you're on the other side of the world, as you were so often when you were away on your travels.

Often think back to how cool you were at Uni.

I used to find it both funny and cool when you swore in French, so many other things as well that pop into my mind every now and again and make me smile.

Met you in 1999 and said goodbye to you in 2009...and now saying a virtual Happy Birthday to you in 2010.

That decade flew by far too quickly. But it was your decade and you were - and are - the Queen of Cool.

Would be great to see some photos from your days in Afghanistan if anyone has some.

Happy Birthday

Dearest Mia,
I'm thinking of you today with so much love. I know the angels in heaven are treating you to all you deserve on your birthday. Maybe a special birthday treat from Babycakes? Today I remember some of the times we shared in New York, in San Diego, and in Cambria. I can't forget your beautiful smile and hope you are smiling on this special day.
Adam and your mother decided that I should have your wallet. I carry it with me all of the time and it reminds me so much of you. The leather is soft, yet strong, beautiful, but practical, and just the perfect size.
Love,
Judy