To New York-loving Mia

Mia it’s difficult to believe you’re not here anymore. I’m drinking a coffee as I write this – something you loved, just as both you and I loved New York City. Like so many young adventurous women before us and no doubt after us, you were endlessly inspired by – by what? It’s hard to put a finger on it. It’s the promise and pull, the layers of history breathing out of the streets, the mix of cultures colliding and growing through each other, the scruffy, complex beauty, the endless things to do, to see, to enthuse and talk about, the plans to make, the coffee to drink, the experiences to share. You embraced it all.

It wasn’t very long ago I met you, in November 2007 when I moved here. Since then we shared precious times walking, talking, laughing. Listening to Adam play his guitar in the upstairs of the Living Room on Ludlow street. Getting a coffee from Abraço on 7^th Street and then another one from Ninth Street Expresso (thank you for letting me know there’s one in Chelsea Market which lures me in now on my walk to work…every time I have a coffee there will remind me of you), then sitting in a wintery sunshine in the community garden across the road, chatting about international affairs and affairs of the heart. Eating risottos on Bleeker Street, then four of us girls dancing to Arabic music in the middle of a club-full of gay men where your friend was belly dancing. Lying on a rug with a picnic at the Earth Day Festival in Central Park. Planning to check out an exhibition at the New Museum but deciding just to ramble instead, browsing in Lower East Side shops. In one you tried on a green silk top. It looked fabulous of course, you loved beautiful things and always looked beautiful in them.

I will carry all these memories and more around the city with me. Your strength is an inspiration Mia.

From Annabel xxxxx

October in New York

In October, 2008, I spent 5 days in New York and had a wonderful visit with Adam and Mia. It was a joy to spend time with the two of them and to be in the presence of the love they shared. We picnicked in Central Park, went to Adam's gig at the Rodeo Club, ate in fabulous restaurants, laughed out loud at Blue Man Group, walked our feet off, and had a great time just being together in the city. I spent one day alone with Mia and we had lunch together before visiting the Guggenheim Museum. Whether we were riding the subway, sharing a pizza, looking at art, or hanging out at my hotel, Mia always had a smile on her face and great hugs to share. I wanted to post some more photos from that visit. Although I was only Mia's Mum-in-law for a short time, she will have a place in my heart forever.

Flight plan.

Mia celebrated the new year, floating above the revelers.
New York City, NY. December 2007 / January 2008

Graduation Ceremony 2002, Southampton

Mia touched so many lives, and I like to think I was profoundly blessed to have met her while studying journalism in Southampton.

Mia was one in a billion, so warm, so kind, so caring., so intelligent...elegant and vivacious, bright, fun and positive - a Danish rose.

Such a great companion and friend. To spend even a little time with her was a rare and profound joy and a privilege.

Mia was also a great inspiration to me and she helped me to learn about life and about learning.

It was partly her work with AINA in Afghanistan and her fondness of children that made me decide to do some voluntary work a few years ago to do something myself and to help an organisation based in Vienna that supports a children's hospital in Basra in Iraq.

I never imagined I'd be doing something like this one day, writing this, on here, like this.

I cannot believe she is no longer in this world, but I know that in the next one, the angels will have their work cut out because she'll set a new standard for them to live up to and they'll have their work cut out trying to keep up with her.

Hopefully I'll continue to learn from what she taught me about life, and we'll all remember the happy moments in her company that we, her friends and family were blessed with.

She was truly one of life's treasures and so many people will miss her.

John Reynolds

Fresh Hope

Mia brought fresh hope to everything she did, it seemed to me. I met her only a few times ---always she was kind, cheery, full of life. She cooked and laughed and told stories in my house with friends. It is hard for me to grasp her leaving a world that needed her so badly. My stunned heart goes out to her family and her husband, her friends, and those who had even the briefest brushes of her lovely smile. May we all learn to act and hope a bit as she did.
Lorna

ciao bella

Mia was deeply loved and will be missed by all of us. She holds a very special place in our hearts and always will.

Fresh Forever Face .....

Fresh Forever Face .....

Once she sent me this photograph; I really don't know where it is but she looks fresh and in happy mode as usual she do.

Hamid - Kabul, AFG

Two Angels

Dear Mia:

Elena and I miss you so much and really regret that we did not have the chance to bring you to the roof terrace of Soho House as you had wished 2 weeks ago during our last phone call.

Your strength and optimism was an incredible inspiration to my late little sister, Fayna, and my mother who both adored you.


Meeting you during Fayna's difficult journey left us all in admiration of your strength, courage and passion for life and taught us all so much.

The only consolation in this sad moment is that you are now in the company of Fayna and that you are looking down on us from a better spot than the roof terrace of Soho House.

We will never forget you.

A big, big hug
Garry & Elena

My dear aunt Mie!

When someone as young and loved as Mie gets taken from us we feel powerless and it all seems so unfair! We ask ourselves why, why her?? Why now? -- And it is impossible for us who are left behind not to feel this way. But instead of cursing the gods we should all think about what we could learn from Mie’s story, what changes we can do during our own time in this world, and in a way try to find some meaning with her death!
Mie will always remind me that life is here everyday and it is my own responsibility and duty to make the best out of what I am offered, and don’t take anything for granted! Mie lived that way, and I will do my very best to do as well!

Mie I will always love you!
Your niece, Laura Jarløv

New York chica

Trip to New York with Rics, Summer 2007

Mia loved New York. A city of endless possibilities for the girl who thought that anything was possible. On this day, we woke at dawn and watched the sun rise over the city. We lay in bed, talked about exciting things and dreamt up adventures.

Mia - one of my favourite and best students...

Dearest Mia - I am so shocked and saddened by the news of your passing. I have had so much losss in my own family that I sense and know how all those close to her will feel. Mia was the first student I ever met, on my first day at Southampton Institute ( now Southampton Solent University).In the three years I taught her, it was always a pleasure to meet her, either in class or around the campus. She was vivacious, friendly, intelligent and so full of life and spirit. We shared a passion for Spain and Journalism - I always remember how she liked George Monbiot! She also liked coffee and beer, so I recall after class meeting for a chat, where we discussed all manner of things - always aided by coffee followed by a beer. I remember an Indian meal we shared together one evening after a late lecture. And later, after her graduation, receiving news from her in Afghanistan!
I teach many students each and every year, and of course each one is special. But Mia really stood out - mature, thoughtful,idealistic, amusing - beautiful in every way, with so much to offer and give.She had the travel bug, as do I, so it is no suprise to see pictures of her in so many parts of this world of ours - her smile and her absolute involvement in whatever she was doing radiates through all of them.
To her family and her friends, rest assured that dear Mia will be in my thoughts and prayers - from Jim O'Brien, her teacher and friend - Southampton Solent University

Living Room.

Mia with her friend Eva, at the Living Room (shot by Todd Chalfant).

Many more here.

New York City, NY. April 2008

Two years ago Mia reached out to me during the toughest moment of my life living in NYC. We had never met but I had heard all about her. Adam was so happy and that made me happy. Sitting with her and her mom at a café in the lower east side, she soothed me with questions and words of wisdom. She made it all too easy to feel special, to recognize self worth. I remember saying to myself, if there are people in this city as truly wonderful as her, I might just be able to build a life here. I did build a life here and I do often think back to that day… her sitting so comfortably with her legs crossed, her constant smile and the occasional touch. The essence of that day was conjured by Mia and I will never forget it.

Liz

I Feel Blessed...

I am terribly saddened to hear the news of beautiful Mia, but eternally blessed to have been touched by such a wonderful ray of light.  I met Mia through Friends in Deed in New York, where I do volunteer massage but at the time we were both participating in a seminar called "The Mastery."  Mia's strength, courage and determination to live life, not as a bystander but as a very active participant was her shining star, her divine light, her force.  May this light that has touched us all be her everlasting life on earth.  She will always continue to inspire us to follow in her footsteps.  With tears and a smile, Ernst  

The Danish Queen...

"...What's up my Danish Queen..." That's how I used to call her. I met Mia two years ago at New School my first class, and you could see her kindness and free spirit. She was so sweet and friendly that I thought I knew her forever... She fell ill and still had the courage and power to go on. I admired her spirit and strength. Last week a friend send me a text saying that Mia was gone. I couldn't believe, and I asked my friend again, what do you mean. The reply was that Mia was no longer with us. My heart was broken. I became so mad because I hadn't call her lately. I always planned to call her, but keep forgeting and getting busy with this crazy life. I just wanted to hear her voice before she left....This is life we come and go, some go earlier than we expect, some not...We are all passing through and leave our footprints on people hearts and lives. Mia left hers in us...We will never forget her, God bless her and keeps her warm. My condolences to the family and friends, be patient and strong.
Goodbye my Danish Queen...we will meet again....

Missing light from the world

I met Mia at Southampton Institute when we lived and worked together at the Halls of Residence. What stays with me is that she was always asking questions and there are few attributes better in a person than that. I have a picture of her somewhere and I will try to find it to share (it annoys me that I cannot find it).

One thing I will always remember is that a friend and I were sitting in her room, and she asked us to explain an element of theoretical physics. She was clearly well out of her depth, but really wanted to understand and we did our best to help her on her journey. Question after question...

She was once kind enough to talk to me when she had relationship difficulties at the time we lived together. We became quite close, not as close as I would have liked and there will always be a part of me that is sad that we did not know each other better but I am more than happy that she was a part of my life at that time. She once wrote me a very nice letter and I will treasure it.

She contributed to this planet and while many can say that, few can say they did it as well as Mia. The cliche of "The flame that burns twice as bright" is sadly proven yet again...

I am sure we all share my thoughts of sympathy and positive thoughts for those that were close to her.

Bob

Talked to Mia in April she was in San Diego... WOW as always she was full of life and sounded so happy... We had a chance meeting in Islamabad Pakistan at the airport in June of 2002... Mia was on her way to Kabul Afghanistan... She asked if she could travel with me to Kabul... Told Mia that is not a place for you to go by your self... So we made the trip together... just some of the places that Mia would go to when we where spending time together and working... Kabul, Kandahar, Harat Afghanistan... Bangkok Thailand, Dubai U.A.E, Beirut Lebanon, Jordan, Kuwait, Amsterdam and the last time I had the opportunity to be in her present was in New York in 2007... Mia made friends in every country that we travel to... It is very hard to say in words what Mia meant to all of us ... The work that Mia did in Afghanistan and the lives she touched will live on way beyond her years... I am sure it would be hard for so many of Mia's friend to vigalize Mia flying in a C-130 are sleeping on the floor of a C-17 ... on her way to Frankfort Germany ... Mia is for sure an Angel...

We all will miss Mia and her smile... With Love from Dallas,Texas...

Gene

MY LOVELY DAUGHTER MIE.

PAIN AND SORROW CAN NOT BE MEASURED, BUT LOSING A CHILD—A YOUNG WOMAN IN HER BEST AGE, WITH A BRILLIANT FUTURE, AND JUST MARRIED TO ADAM 4 MONTHS AGO—IS SO UNREAL, SO VERY DIFFICULT TO COMPREHEND.

 

MIE WANTED ME TO BE STRONG AND NOT TO BECOME AN ALCOHOLIC. THE LATTER IS NOT DIFFICULT. BEING STRONG IS ANOTHER MATTER.

 

SHE WAS A MUCH WANTED BABY, BORN NEARLY 13 YEARS AFTER MY NUMBER 3 CHILD, AND SHE LOVED HER SISTER, HER BROTHERS, AND NIECES AND NEPHEWS.

 

MIE WAS VERY CLOSE TO HER “FATHER IN ACTION,” AS SHE CALLED HIM. SHE LOVED HIM. HIS NAME IS JOHN, AND HE WAS ALWAYS THERE FOR MIE, FROM WHEN SHE WAS 9 YEARS OLD UNTIL THE END IN SAN DIEGO. THEY COULD LAUGH TOGETHER AND ENJOY THE GOOD THINGS IN LIFE—THE ENGLISH HUMOR, FUNNY FILMS, CAVIAR AND CHAMPAGNE.

 

FROM AN EARLY AGE, MIE WANTED EVERYBODY TO BE COMFORTABLE. SHE WAS ALWAYS LOOKING AFTER UNFORTUNATE CHILDREN, AND HER DREAM WAS TO WORK FOR UNICEF.

 

MIE LIVED A FULL LIFE, DID WHAT SHE WANTED TO DO, OFTEN SHOCKING ME BY TRAVELING TO UNSAFE PLACES AND SENDING ME AN EMAIL SAYING, “YOU’D BETTER SIT DOWN. I AM IN KABUL,” OR HONDURAS, OR QUITO, AND SO ON.

 

SHE KEPT IN CONTACT WITH THE FRIENDS SHE MADE WHEREVER SHE WENT.

 

I AM MISSING HER DAILY SMS’S, TELLING ME WHAT SHE WAS DOING, WHO SHE WAS MEETING. I HAVE LEARNED SO MUCH FROM HER AND MET SO MANY INTERESTING AND LOVELY PEOPLE. I THANK HER FOR THAT. AND, PLEASE, YOU FRIENDS, KEEP IN CONTACT WITH ME AND VISIT ME. THERE WILL ALWAYS BE A BED FOR MIE’S FRIENDS IN MY HOUSE IN SPAIN.

 

NINA

blue and green

NYC, Feb 2009

Adam's gang of cousins (3 adults + 4 kids) and his Aunt Susan visited NY in February. It was the first time our kids met Mia, and the first time we all saw Adam and Mia after their wedding. Mia's mom and sister were in town, so we all visited. This picture is at a tiny place where Mia and Adam and Nina met us for bagels (we took up 3 tables and didn't leave much room for anyone else to eat!). We were talking about colors - Mia said she liked blue and Adam liked green. I like to think of her on this morning - the newlyweds glowing in blue and green.

Glorious Mia

Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful girl... Through and through and through..  What joy and light and love you brought to all who met you.  I treasure the memories of the few times we spent together with Tiff.  Your ballsiness was an inspiration, your generosity of spirit astounding. Glorious Mia. 

hi babe

mie would always start her emails with " hi babe..." so:

hi babe,

i love you. we love you.

ava (7, my first daughter and your godchild from lanzarote) dreamt of you last night.

she saw a beautiful light of colours " we played together in the pool and then mie gave us all a little bit of her light and left us ".

thank you for loving us.

besos alice

My beautiful sister

My sister was a very special person who lived her life making sure that the rest of the world was happy. She was the best auntie Matthew and Christian could ever have had and of course a wonderful sister. She will be missed by all of us, however she will never be forgotten. We have thousands of memories and she lived with me till the boys were 10 months old, so she was like a second mother to them. She loved dressing them up and took wonderful photo's all through their childhood. The boys and I are going to make "Mia's book" which will be a book full of photos and memeroirs fo us to look at to celebrate her life. It was so un-fair that such a special person should die so young. However she did manage things that most people would not be able to do in a life-time. We all loved her very much !

A kip in the park.

On a bed of grass.

Sevenoaks, Kent, UK. February 2008

A beacon.

Mia was a beacon, especially here.

Beacon, NY. March 2008

Having a coffee in NYC

the waiter took the photo with Mia's iphone

rock pools, 2001

1988

1988, Mignonette rocked!


Casa Jasmin pool
1997, Flora's party

Mia in Afghanistan

Afghanistan, 2002-03. The bottom picture was taken by Steve Connors.

sunshine

Tarifa, Spain, 2001.

To my dearest friend, the adventures won't end. Here is to being light, free and happy...

Donations.

Several people have asked me about where charitable donations can be made in Mia's name. These are the organizations I'm recommending:

• Ocular Melanoma Foundation
• Covenant House
• your local Hospice

International Toast-to-Mia Day

Mia lit up the lives of so many people all around the world. Of course, she would want us to carry on in celebration of her life, and our own lives—not in mourning. Many of us have already been raising celebratory toasts to her. I've been thinking how powerful it would be for all of Mia's friends and family worldwide to raise a toast together, synchronously.

Let's do it on 21 September 2009, which is the United Nations' International Day of Peace. Glasses will be raised at 18:30 EDT (local time in New York City). Anyone who happens to be in New York can join me at the Maritime Hotel. (Those in other places can convert to their local time on this site: http://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/converter.html.) After, we can share our toasts—text, audio, video, photos—here at http://themiaabides.blogspot.com/.

Please pass this along to everyone you know who'd like to wassail with us.

~Adam

themiaabides@gmail.com

Beautiful Mia.

Wedding Day January 9, 2009

 I was lucky enough to meet Mia and Adam a couple of years ago in New York through one of my best friends in the world Adam Chasan (left of Mia in this picture).  We immediately became friends.  Both Mia and Adam had such a lovely way of making you feel like they've known you forever.  Every time I went over to the Lower East Side to play a gig or catch someone else's (often Adam's) I always hoped I might run into Mia and our discussion of life, philosophy, art, film, food and world politics would continue, amidst constant joking and laughing.  Every time I'd find Mia sitting in front of her favorite cafe or smiling at the bar grooving to Adam's sets, we'd start in joking and catching up like no time had passed at all.   Occasionally, Mia's old Spain gang would be reunited downtown.  Then the party really got going!  What a wonderful group of people!  Mia loved them all so dearly and they all loved her every bit as much.  The picture above is an i-phone picture Mia sent me after one such evening of goofing around with Mia, Sandra and their respective Adams.  

In the course of the last year we managed to meet up a lot when Mia was home.  We caught a couple of movies at the Sunshine on Houston, we worked on a translation together for one of Mia's research projects, we attended Adam and Sandra's beautiful wedding and had a lovely dinner and visit over at Adam and Mia's place.  I miss Mia terribly and always will.  She was a beautiful, wonderful friend who's rare intelligence was matched only by her rare kindness.  She was a soulful, open hearted original thinker, an eloquent speaker and a great listener.  My heart goes out to Adam.  He is a beautiful man.  Mia loved him so deeply and his boundless love for Mia is a gift to us all.  My heart goes out to Mia's family and all of her wonderful friends, many of whom I have the privilege of calling my own friends now.  Mia is indeed an angel.  We are blessed to have her living in our hearts forever.

Sweet Mia...

After we ended up at the same class at the New School University in NYC, Mia was a major factor in making my life in the US not only possible, but always enjoyable. For the 18 months that followed, me and Mia were like "two asses in one underwear," an Arab expression that cracked Mia up everytime i said it...

mia...angel

N.Y. 10/08

New York October 2008

Mission accomplished....

After we managed to serve a buffet for a dozen of people on Easter in NYC, NY, 2007.